truths.

#1. My family has joked about me being adopted since day one. The only fair-skinned blue-eyed blonde among darker-featured brunettes? Something doesn’t quite add up, I’m slowly convincing myself it wasn’t much of a joke on their part.

#2. I successfully made it to ER by age one. I was swinging on this antique church pew in our house [decoration purposes of course] and all 500lbs. of it fell over on me. And seven hours straight of screaming bloody murder and 38201 stitches later… to this day, I believe the green doctor was the first friend I ever made. We don’t stay in touch. In fact, I hope to never see him again.

#3. I hate situations that call for me to be serious, end of story. I’m convinced by now that I was put on this earth strictly for entertainment purposes. You’re welcome, and I accept checks.

#4. I’ve always secretly wanted to be homeless, to have the experience on my record. And I would spend all my time going around and stealing glitter and markers and beads and glue from craft stores to make the hottest “please feel bad for me” signs on the block [competitive streak kicking in].

#5. I’m constantly craving attention, but I don’t want to be smothered. I don’t ask for it, but I will find a way to get it.

#6. I’ve always wanted to get in the car with a complete stranger. In America this is known as hitchhiking.

#7. I’ve discovered that when my phone dies it means I’m up past my bedtime.

#8. Reckless driving/living are things I heart equally.

#9. (Rach) I will never have a close relationship with either of my parents. We're too different. Their childhood/values/current ideas just differ from mine completely. When I have kids, I'm going to make sure that no matter how different we are, I find some way to connect with them.

#10. Between you and I, I can’t wait to become a mom. I have more fun with kids than anyone else, so life’s just gonna be one big party.

#11. I’m convinced I got stuck with THE oddest combination of genes possible, mentally speaking. It’s like a Midwest tornado and Alaskan blizzard, combined, in my head every day, and my personality reflects this.

#12. I am like a boy in the sense that there is not an ounce of sensitivity in my blood [and if there is, I pretend like there isn’t], I prefer watching NFL games on the big screen over girl talk in the kitchen on holidays, and I thrive off of “that’s what she said” jokes. Never gets old. Ever.

#13. Independent is the one adjective that defines me, bar none. I’ve always been convinced dependency is a sign of weakness since I was little, and can’t seem to shake the idea. Which is ironic because I’m the baby of the family, but whatev.

#14. On that note, I worship my alone time. Few would ever guess this because I’m naturally such a people person and talking is a sport in my mind.

#15. I get my workaholic nature from my daddy, giving up isn’t in his vocabulary, and I respect him for it more than he will ever know.

#16. I can't dance for shit, but I have a damn good time trying.

#17. I never used to suck on my thumbs, I thought it was strange. Instead I preferred my toes.

#18. I wish I didn’t make lying look so easy. Seriously, it’s a gift/curse. I’m pretty sure it’s a moral issue, but I can’t help it. I know how to get things in life, and I take advantage of it. On the same note, I've been told I can manipulate parents/teachers/authority like nobody's business, although unfortunately I don't think this is quite the compliment.

#19. 99.1% of what comes outta my mouth is pure sarcasm. Humor is key in my book, it makes the world a beautiful place.

#19. I have more sass that what’s healthy in a person. And yes, I’m aware I wrote #19 twice and then was too lazy to backspace. Meh.

#20. Messing with people and eating cereal are things I do often. Without remorse.

#21. I have an extremely all-or-nothing personality. I’m either extremely messy or meticulously clean/organized. I either put forth 101% effort or refuse to do it period, I don’t feel morally obligated to halfass things. I either wake up in a wonderful mood or one from hell. I either like you, or I don’t.

#22. Steve Carell and Jim Carrey are my heroes because they have not only saved my sanity multiple times, but have provided some of the most epic awkward moments known to Hollywood, and for this I give them my respect.

#23. Spontaneous is my favorite word, and it gets me into trouble just about 90% of the time. My life is based on impulse, it’s like a constant adrenaline rush, you should try it sometime.

#24. I’m a working-out-and-eating-right junkie, I can’t help it. I refuse to touch fast food, excluding midnight DQ blizzard runs, and I haven’t had soda of any kind in 23 months. This I’m sure of, it was such an important event I put it on my calendar and celebrate its anniversary from time to time. My mom tried to give me 7-up when I was sick a few months back and I threw a temper tantrum [evidence: maturity issue]

#25. I’m a licensed perfectionist. I used to freak out the minute I saw wrinkles on my pink teacup bedspread when I was five, and this once lead me to thinking that I wanted to be an interior designer. Then I thought of how many people would hate me when I barged in on their homes and whipped out my power trip on them and destroyed anything I didn’t like. I don’t care if you got it for your son for Christmas three years ago, it’s not appealing to my senses.

#26. I wish I was a ballerina, and I guilt trip my parents every day of my life for not enrolling me in a dance class by age three.

#27. My first childhood crush was on a guy named Will Smith, it may ring a bell. Amen to ‘90s fresh prince reruns <3 Ah, the good 'ol days.

#28. I’m cheap and high-maintenance. I live in designer but given the choice, I’d choose beer over a $17 cocktail any day.

#29. I grew up on a farm and to this day won’t touch eggs, because I’m convinced my mom feeding me scrambled eggs every morning before preschool, only naturally, lead to my taste buds finally gettin sick of 'em.

#30. I have trouble finishing my sentences. I blatantly call it oral dyslexia.

#31. I want to be treated like a princess, not purchased like one.

#32. I will be mad at you, and then five minutes later apologize for being mad.

#33. I am probably the most silly and unfocused person known to mankind. My high school teachers keep reminding me of how unhealthy these traits are to have.

#34. I won’t be put on hold. For anything or anyone.

#35. “I have a really inappropriate sense of humor. Everything I find funny is usually not church friendly.”

#36. I use 4 different shampoos and 5 different conditioners, per shower. Probably looked down upon in the cosmetology industry but hell, I get compliments on my hair all the time so I must be doing something right.

#37. I’ve been on two blind dates in my life and I suggest it over resorting to eHarmony/online dating communities. Really, you have nothing to lose. Except maybe some hours of your life that you’ll never get back, and in some cases, an article [or two] of clothing.

#38. I have been involved with someone six years older than myself. Hence the law d0n’tt fAze m3. This is not a good sign...

#39. Yes, I’ve always dreamed of being on a parade float. No, I’ve never received an invitation.

#40. I make up my own words on a regular basis. It’s a hobby really.

#41. I am a diehard city/beach/country girl - all equally.

#42. My competitive streak crosses the line and gets me in trouble from time to time. It all started when my barbies had to have had the best clothes and cards in the neighborhood. I will have the best, own the best, flaunt the best, and be the best.

#43. I was saving myself [my heart anyway] for Scott Bairstow until the day I saw him on the news for rape. It quite possibly was one of the worst days of my life. It was on that day I began keeping my eyes open for a prince charming replacement. Damn you, Wild America, for getting my hopes up.

#44. I never learned how to share, I think I skipped that day of kindergarten. When I claim it, it’s mine. Some people call this a possessive issue, I say fuck it, we all have our issues.

#45. Working out is and will always be my the first one of my life. Men/money/food always take second priority, and this is a guarentee.

#46. I love anything with ‘dirty’ in the title - camping/mud fights/pole dancing all included.

#47. I want to grow up and land myself a highly successful career with an important title/position that makes tons and tons of money. Not because I’m acquisitive, it’s because I’m fairly convinced by now I’ve been ona power trip since I was a little girl. I like being in control, and, if it were up to me, I'd refuse to take orders from anyone.

#48. I find amusement in rebelling. I don’t do limits, restrictions, or the word “no”. You tell me not to do something?, I find 35 different creative ways TO do it. I’m dangerous to society, or so they say.

#49. Camping is the key to my heart, bar none. Taking a break from chores/taking showers/getting all dolled up to present myself to the world everyday? Enough said.

#50. The ocean is my favorite place in the world, and there’ll never be competition. Ever. There’s just something about standing with your bare feet in wet sand, waves crashing over 'em, and forgetting all the world’s troubles and letting your heart get lost in the sea. *sigh* Long Beach, anyone?

#51. Caffeine overdose or pain meds, or sleep deprivation will be responsible for my death one day, this I’m sure of. I’m a certified junkie of each, and I'm surprised I don't have medical records claiming that I only have a few more years to live just because my lifestyle habits are so damn unhealthy.

#52. I’m known to capslock random words in a sentence/conversation just to throw people off. Court trademark right there, don’t touch it, but let me tell you, it’s quite possibly the most entertaining activity of my day.

#53. I’ve always secretly wanted to certify my therapist skills. I take pride in the advice I’m able to give, thank you. [Fun fact: I have a tendency to never go to people or friends seeking help or advice, but I thrive off helping people.]

#54. I run around cleaning the house [hello OCD?] when I’m avoiding homework/responsibilities. I like to think of it as guiltless procrastination, since I’m still doing something semi-productive.

#55. I didn’t stop at #50 like I was “supposed to”. Meh, I’ve always sucked at following directions anyway.

#56. So I'll keep going, for whoever's attention span I've managed to hold up until this point. I cannot for the life of me keep a fish alive longer than a month or so. And before you ask me if I forget to feed it or clean its bowl, I will scream at you and tell you it's not my fault. And that's not the same lame "it's not my fault" the nasty ex feeds you or the pouty whiny-voiced "it's not my f-aaa-uuu-lt" that your kids throw at you when you walk into the kitchen only to find milk spilled all over your brand spankin' new wood flooring, but I'm serious when I say I think the pet store jips me whenever I go in and buy a new beta/goldfish. And damnit, it's not funny!, especially considering my extreme attachment issues that I innately get with pets.

#57. I'm a strong believer in "everything happens for a reason" and fate. Don't get me wrong, I think He has his fun working it all out, but hey, it's an entertaining production in the end, right?

#58. I'll read my daily horoscope and "compatibility with this week's boyfriend" for the fun of it, when boredom has got the best, and I mean best, of me. But other than that, I mostly just joke about karma and the stars and all that snazzy cosmo shit. Well, usually.

#59. There is nothing in the world I love more than coffee. And it's such a big part of my life that bolding the entire sentence seemed necessary. It's an unhealthy/expensive addiction, but I've thought about it and I think I'm willing to sacrifice all my weekly paychecks and pool it into one big delicious Starbucks fund. Besides, the classic strictly-cigarettes-and-coffee diet you see in the old black&white films with Aubrey Hepburn? My god, so classy. Minus the cigarettes part of it of course, because I'd rather have to resort to using whitestrips for my faded off white teeth than die of lung cancer.

#60. I'm probably the most mature seventeen year old of my generation. And this falls under 'facts' and not 'opinions'. It's scary, I don't even really know how I got this way.

#61. I could live on [fat-free] Yoplait. 'Nuff said. I mean, walking down the yogurt aisle in the grocery store is like some kind of adventure in Willy Wonka's dessert factory, there's lemon, boston cream pie, raspberry cheesecake, french vanilla, key lime pie, and new on the markets (except not available in fat-free, yet) is Coffee. Oh my god, *drool*...

there'sa new elle woods in washington... state

Someone asked me if I've ever seriously considered becoming a lawyer when/[if] I ever grow up. Just like that, outta the blue and all I could do was look at em and laugh because despite how many millions upon millions of random thoughts travel through my mind on a daily basis, this is one that's never taken presence. Then I started thinking about it and I'm like hey, perhaps he really has something here. I mean, let us analyze: 1) I am one damn good writer and have a way with words [universal fact]; 2) I thrive off anything remotely associated with defiance, i.e. heated arguments --> defending cases and backing it up with far better support than anyone else's ass can deliver thus, --> winning; 3) I've been called manipulative by a number of people throughout the years [not always a trait to take pride in but hey, lawyers bring home the moola yeeaaah?] and finally 4) I've already adopted my own Court-signature career motto [see below] so, practically speaking I'm halfway there already. A little bitta schoolin' and I'll be good to go, set for life. And on the brightside, if all else fails, I still have all my journalism/criminal justice/marine biology/Hollywood production/massage therapy/Gene Juarez certified beautifier options as a fallback...



oh, and today's favorite quote that I'd love to claim as my own words:
"I'm a lover not a fighter, but piss me off and I'll knock your ass out."

I'm hoping I don't die soon, I have an agenda.

bucket list

- live in a California flat overlooking Huntington with Alixandria Bomar (code: my best friend in life, ever)
- go bridge jumping in Venice
- buy everyone in the bar a drink
- milk a cow
- give johnny depp a kiss on the cheek
- shower in a waterfall
- run around tagging the city’s most legit buildings
- spend the night on a trampoline
- give to charity -- anonymously
- surf in Tahiti
- send a message in a bottle
- kiss a prince [I’m thinking William is my best option on the table]
- walk around with a bible in hand in prison
- swim with dolphins at sunset
- take a pole dancing class, pick up some new moves for the hell of it
- buy a round-the-world air ticket
- take a ferrari for a test drive
- publish a novel
- make origami cranes for cancer patients
- get lost in Europe
- visit Chinatown. really, that’s all.
- tell a boss where to shove it, make a scene and quit (chappelle-inspired)
- play firefighter for one 24-hour on-call shift
- mom some kids and raise ‘em the best way I know how to
- waste my lifesavings in designer london boutiques
- visit the holy land
- go to a football game in milford, michigan
- scuba dive off the coast of Australia's great barrier reef
- defy gravity
- take up salsa dancing
- crash a party
- go hot air ballooning on a really cold/foggy autumn morning
- buy a gym membership... and use it
- lick an iceberg
- tokyo drift
- bartend in new york city
- visit the North Pole and spend the night in an igloo
- ride a camel throughout Israelian scorching hot deserts
- host a downtown miami club event
- make it through KUBE 93.3’s annual haunted house, preferably alive
- attend a paris fashion show
- go to a bonfire on laguna beach
- hire my personal bouncer for clubbin' out on the town
- spin 'round and 'round and 'round in giant teacups on Coney Island until I puke
- spend the night under the stars
- take a roadtrip down South and visit Andrew Swint
- go skydiving hand in hand with the love of my life
- take a Caribbean cruise
- drink the most expensive tequila on the market
- direct a Hollywood film
- spend new years on an exotic beach drinking pina coladas
- paint and decorate a local smalltown's artist cafe
- work at Nordstrom, end of story
- backpack Everest... during the good season
- live it up Jamaica style
- get a tattoo symbolizing what's most important in my life
- live the typical 4-year university experience - college football games/cafeteria food/walking from class to class in 0 degree weather/prioritizing partying over studying on weeknights all included.
- host an oldschool nintendo party
- become a ballerina
- if that doesn’t come true, enroll my girls in dance classes by age 5
- rescue a drowning dog/person
- take a 7am run in autumn in Central Park
- scuba dive off the coast of Australia’s great barrier reef
- master smoky eyes
- learn how to take a compliment
- smoke a cuban cigar
- write an autobiography, never publish it, and give it to one person before I die
- go dark brunette
- jump off a diving board without contemplating suicide
- achieve a state of pure and utter happiness
- make the world a better place
- find my prince charming in this world