Birthday boy is mine, hands off.

lalala I'm so happy. I'm so fucking excited for the future that it's like the rule to add the fuck word in that sentence, just to enhance my happiness and make sure people realize it's not an excuse to swear and feel ohhh,rebellious but it expresses my smile right now.

I'm excited to go off to a 4yr university and make so much of my life, because I know I'm capable. I have potential and I'm not willing to sit on my boot-ay for the rest of my life, gazing at the treadmill and psychology books. I'm gonna study my little butt off and stress about the small things and pull all-nighter after all-nighter, caffeine pills and Sbux in hand, a motivated soul in gear. I really don't know what came over me today, but it did and that's what I know.
I swear I realize something every day of my life, and today it was bigger than most days.

Sometimes I realize I don't match and then laugh at myself like I'm some kindergartener who doesn't know how to dress herself, but oh no no no today was important.
I'm gonna make things happen, and yeah it'll be hell here and there, a little shit mixed in with the good stuff, but hey now, everyone can't always make brownies without the walnuts, am I right or am I right? And okay, scratch that metaphor because ONLY I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT, but goody gracious am I in a pumped mood.

I'm looking out the window and I feel like I suck at writing at the moment, but the thing is, I don't care anymore. I'm in this process of acceptance, it's called teenage years, and I'm stumbling across so many flaws of mine, and let me tell you: I love it. I spent the past fifteen years attempting at perfection 60 minutes each hour, 24 hours a day, 365 days every year, and it's tiring. Tiring but more so? Worthless. No one likes a perfectionist, people like humans who don't hafta use big words all the time and who have bitchmoods and bad days and bipolar episodes and who can make jokes that aren't funny and not worry about it.

WOW am I changing before my eyes, and dunnnadudnnnadundnnala, I kinda like it for some crazy mixedup reason.